C O M M I T Y O U R S E L F ❤️
A lot can happen in 10 years. . .
It really makes me smile when I get a comment, email or text about how inspired someone was by a story I post about my journey. Well, here we go again.... enjoy this one. It may be the one that has kept me alive all these years...
10 years ago... 14 year old Tammy only wanted one thing for her 8th grade graduation present. That was to attend a festival to go see her newly favorite bands Disturbed, Avenged Sevenfold and System of a Down at this festival named Ozzfest. My loving, badass parents eventually decided to surprise me with 2 lawn tickets to go and yes they also dropped me and my friend Joan off and gave us pretzel money.
Any "normal" teen walking into this fest would have probably shit herself seeing the sea of older men and woman in their black shirts and metal "punch you hard in the weiner" faces but not me, oh no. I finally felt a feeling of belonging and being a part of something special for the first time in my life. I was finally in a place where people understood this music I recently fell in love with.
This first video here was my first impression of a heavy ass fuck band Hatebreed with diehard as fuck fans moshing and doing circle pits that took up the ENTIRE lawn. If you where there that day you remember how the lawn exploded. I loved every fuckin second of it so much I decided to join in a mosh pit for the first time and gamble with my life as well hahah I was hooked on this. This was it. Heavy metal music was what was getting me through the awkward years and now I just found out that live music is what I wanted to be a part of my life FOREVER. I was in 8th grade. I had no idea what I wanted to do with my life then....
The second clip is a very important one leading back to the very first band I saw at Ozzfest 06. If you've kept up with my posts or have hung out with me recently you know of my revisitation with all of Hatebreed's music. Always was a fan but I've leaned on them HARD the last few months to fuel my life back together. Read back on my posts to hear more about that but in this moment working my way to the stage after parking and running 2 miles to the stage thinking I would miss their set I made it and all the flashbacks of my summer at the gym working out to them, blasting them in my new business when my sister and I relocated, driving around blasting their songs at 2 am on endless drives, I felt adrenalized with that same feeling that little chica in the first clip felt. Unstoppable. Determined and ecstatic about the next 10 years of my life.
The third clip is the madness that endured during our hometown boy's Disturbed's set at Ozzfest 06. This band was the reason I first wanted to go to this show. These dudes were southsiders -they were what everyone in middle and high school talked about. Everyone had a Disturbed story and the day my older sister came home with their CD, I couldn't believe what my ears were hearing. They were the reason I started to give hard rock/metal a chance at all. Far away in the back of the lawn that day, I rocked my ass off finally hearing the songs played live for the first time. Ooo Wa Ah Ah Ah.
The final clip is my best friend Kat and I at Ozzfest watching Disturbed from our seats that my amazing friend TJ hooked us up with. I didn't bring my camera with me. I brought my accomplishments, my journey, my setbacks, my redirections and my new goals with me. There in the montage at the end is a small part of what flashbacked in my head along with a little tear knowing what I have gone through.
I look back on these 10 years and I remember that even with all the up and downs I have a purpose here on this planet. There's a reason that every time I want to give up something saves me. Something or someone comes along and reminds me of what I am capable of. I may not get the gigs that I dream of having and I've learned to realize its okay....why? Because when the Universe doesn't allow it to line up it means there's something bigger and better ahead for you. What you can't let happen when you hit a low is lose sight of the dream. Lose sight of your accomplishments. Lose sight of the passion. Lose sight of yourself.
You will be the only person that holds you back from anything and if you need a reason to believe in yourself watch this video and see someone who believed she would get the tickets from her parents, who believed she can survive a mosh pit, who believed she could buy a camera and figure it out, who believed she'd network until she found a way, who believed she can use an entire summer to work out and not give in to drinking and going out, who almost failed and closed a business but decided to try again, who never thought in million years that years down the road the bands she's watching from faw away in the lawn would one day become the subjects in her camera.
The Universe has a plan, You just have to believe in it ... but most importantly you must believe in yourself.
This is a very embarrassing video but if it can help someone, anyone then my job here is done.
Welcome to fabulous Las Vegas!! While we're at it - Welcome to this new fabulous chapter of your life, Ms. Vega...
Nothing worth having comes easy. Take it from someone who's been busting their ass off, working hard towards her dreams for the last 6 years. I want to make something out of myself and my life and I refuse to let anyone or anything get in my way. I realized tho, one day back in May, that before any dream can become a reality it all starts with making yourself happy first. Deep down you'll never shine bright until you put in the effort to find your own happiness and embrace the person you are. Eventually those doubtful people and their negative energies won't even bother you anymore because you will be so content and focused on yourself to even give them the time of day.
We can all sit online, post positive quotes and rants about how we want to change the world, be better people and do impactful things but how often do those of you who preach those things actually go out and work for it? Are you willing to do it? Or do you think that by reposting an inspiring quote online is enough for people to believe that you're this positive awesome person?
I fell off the planet the last few months to work on myself, be myself for myself... and today - I can honestly say that I am in love with this positive, strong, hardworking woman I've become.
Somewhere in the middle of the highway on our drive from LA to Vegas, my beautiful best friend Kat stopped to capture this photo of me just soaking in this moment.
Also thank you the amazing wizard sister M.J. that I have that gave me this amazing new look. Change is good. The red was fun for years but this is a new chapter.
✖️You're all the inspiration I need / your doubt, it fuels me / your hate, it drives me / the challenge ignites me / you make me fight harder✖️
I get by with a little help from my friends 🎶🎶🎶 Thank you Tom Keifer for always making me feel like part of the #keiferband family ❤️❤️❤️Seeing this photo pop up on screen always gives me chills - you are truly one of the greatest to work for! 📷📽Wish I could have been rocking the badlands with you all over the weekend! Thanks for sending this photo, Kyle, it made my day so much!!
When you first fall in love with that feeling that music can give you, you never forget the bands that first fueled that fire in your heart when you were younger discovering your musical taste. A year ago yesterday was the first time I photographed the very same band that I eagerly went to go see at my first music festival - OZZFEST 2006. I left Tinley Park a completely different person that day. It was my first experience of seeing this live chaos and being a part of something where I felt like I belonged. Years down the road, my love for live music grew and it led to pursing a career in the music industry. I can't really describe the feeling of seeing life go in full circle and not being out in the crowd but in the photo pit last year 9 years later, after all the ups and downs I've gone through. Disturbed ended up using this image to announce their 5th #1 album on Billboard and it was one of those moments that reminded me why I do what I do for my passion. Music has been there guiding me through every aspect of my life and I owe it to the artists that write and perform these songs to continue making art out of what it means to me. The day Disturbed's single "What Are You Waiting For" came out, I remember listening along + reading the lyrics and it was the push and motivation I needed to finally decide to jump into the unknown and sign the lease to open my business I've done it all for music and I will not stop anytime soon. This is a cheers to all the bands out there fueling us fans to feel indestructible. ✨📷🎶
⚠️ Some people want to see you fail ⚠️ Some people want you to go away because they feel threatened. Some of them will support you to your face and then turn their heads and make you look bad to others. Some won't be able to stand seeing you go after your dreams and the truth is....